How percy jackson got kicked out of walmart
by daughterofposeidon19
Summary: 202 ways Percy got kicked out of walmart
1. Chapter 1

**102 Ways to Get Kicked Out of Wal-Mart (or Target) and more**

1. Take all the fudge, whipped cream, or anything like that, and make a slip n slide

up to any guy with his girlfriend and slap him crying out "But you said you'd love me forever and ever!"

3. Walking by someone, start singing a Barney song, when they join in, say "what a bunch of retards" and walk away.

4. Sit in the ice cream isle and (while eating all the ice cream from the carton with your hands) yell at anyone passing by that they cant have any, and to make your point, throw some ice cream at them.

5. Paint a 'mural' with the nail polish, when yelled at, ask them why they hate art.

6. Invite all your friends for a movie night at Wal-Mart. This must include turning off all the lights, opening all the bags of chips and cans of soda, and when watching your movie in the TV section, "shhh" anyone such as the manager and others and them lecture them about being rude.

7. Demand to see the manager at once, muttering about things like 'bad service' and 'rude employees'. Once face to face with the manager, insist that you need his/her autograph straight away.

8. Hide in the clothing racks. When someone starts searching through the clothes, jump up, saying, "Pick me!"

9. Walk around in the dishware and say to people as they examine cups and such, "Please don't touch that one. It is a very fine piece that I picked up in Volterra, Italy."

10. Ask someone for the time, and before they answer, break out into the chorus for the Phantom of the Opera.

11. Take all the money out of the cash registers and put it in a big pile and roll in it screaming "I'M RICH!", when the security comes, tell them that you inherited Wal-Mart, then lecture them about respecting their superiors.

12. On the intercom, broadcast very irrelevant conversations between teenage girls (OH NO U DIDN'T! he's totally like going to dump her, he's too hot for her, did you hear about that?) etc. (broadcast until it stops being funny)

13. Ride the little electronic cars at the front of the store.

14. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals throughout the day.

15. Walk up to an employee and in an official tone of voice say "We've got a code 3 in House wares". See what happens.

16. Turn all the radios to the polka station, then turn them off, but turn the volume as high as it'll go.

17. Play with the automatic doors.

18. Walk up to complete strangers and say "Hi! I haven't seen you in..." etc. and see how they respond.

19. Leave small gifts in the hands of mannequins.

20. Play soccer with a group of friends using the entire store as your playing field.

21. As the cashier scans an item, say "Wow, magic!".

22. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" to carpeted areas.

23. Put M&M's on layaway.

24. Set up a tent in the camping department. Tell friends they can only come if they bring pillows from Bed & Bath.

25. When an employee comes and asks you if you need help, say "Why won't you all just leave me alone?".

26. While looking at guns in the gun department, suddenly ask the clerk where the anti-depressants are.

27. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

28. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

29. Two words: "Marco Polo".

30. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

31. When a someone gives an announcement, assume a fetal position and start screaming, "No, no! not the voices again!".

32. When someone strays from their cart looking at something, take their cart and run away.

33. Follow people throughout the store staying about 5 feet away at all times until they leave the store.

34. Hold shopping cart races.

35. Ask newly hired employees about made up products, i.e. "Do you have any Shnerples here?".

36. Ride the bicycles around claiming that you're taking it for a "test drive".

37. Ask employees, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?".

38. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin-to the Batcave!"

40. Lay on one of the bed displays with a rose and stare at everyone that walks by with a grin on your face.

41. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

42. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "Red Rover."

43. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's.

45. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.

46. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don't get out much and ask if they can put a little umbrella

in it.

47. Make a trail of Mountain Dew on the floor leading to the restrooms.

48. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

49. Go into one of the fitting rooms and yell real loud..."Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!"

50. "Accidentally" get stuck in one of the frozen food doors. Give people strange looks and see if anyone helps you out.

51. Add really funny things to other peoples' carts and watch them pay for it and see if they notice.

52. Ask if you can buy a shopping cart.

53. Bring a friend and get in a shopping cart. Have them push you around while you yell "ye-haw!"

54. Constantly wink at a person you don't know. Follow them around and blow kisses to them.

55. Fill your shopping cart with matchbooks and gasoline and walk around smiling at people.

56. Find a parent with her kid in the shopping cart. Point at the kid and ask the parent, "What aisle are they selling these on?"

57. Gather a bunch of bouncy balls and bounce them into neighboring aisles.

58. Get 20 people together and play hide-n-go-seek.

59. Get a friend, put on as many articles of clothing you can find and start sumo wrestling (use diapers if possible) .

60. Go to the express lane and get an item, and say "wait, I forgot something" Keep doing that until you have like 50, check out, then say "thanks, I forgot how much this costs," and walk away.

61. Go to the video game section and play one of the games for a minute the throw down the controller and start to bang on the display case when an attendant asks

you what you are doing tell him your trying to change the game.

62. Go up to a guy and start crying saying I finally found you mommy! And see what he does!

63. Go up to someone and start taking items from their basket and put them into yours.

64. Go up to the clerk and say code Red! and see what they do!

65. Hide in the toy section, when someone comes close jump out at them throw a ball and yell "Pikachu I choose you!"

66. Joust with the electronic assist carts and wrapping paper.

67. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.

68. Make the entire auto department smell by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

69. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

70. Page yourself and then after the employee says your name, say..."Oh that's me, I've got to go. Thank you."

71. Play blind chicken with 12 friends putting a blind fold on one and them having that person trying to find you .

72. Pour bubble bath into the fountains in the garden section.

73. Repeat whatever the store clerk tells you.

74. Roll cans of soup down the aisles.

75. Run around the store yelling I'm a princess while holding a toy wand.

76. Run around yelling for your pet ferret "Stinky". check out all the funny looks you get!

77. Run up to a complete stranger, tag them, and say "You're it!"

78. Sample all the fragrances in the perfume department.

79. Set up a battle of laser tag .

80. Set up ten pineapples in the shape of bowling pins and start bowling with a coconut.

81. Start Humming the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Theme song. Whenever someone looks at an item near you scream "TURTLE POWER" and run away as fast as you can.

82. Strategically scatter those novelty dog poops throughout the store and wait for some to announce "clean up on aisle ..." then yell "BAD FLUFFY!"

83. Take a snickers bar, go in the bathroom and smoosh the snickers bar in your hand and reach over to the next stall and say "Uh, do you have some toilet paper over there?"

84. Take all of the free AOL cd's on the end of the check out counter.

85. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

86. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

87. Time yourself for two minutes and throw as many shoes as possible onto the floor.

88. TP as much of the store as possible.

89. Try to fly on a broom. If anyone asks what you are doing tell them in a very annoyed voice, "The brooms don't work!"

90. Unload then entire bin of giant bouncy balls, get in the bin, have a friend put all the balls back on top of you. When someone walks by jump outta the balls causing

them to fly everywhere.

91. Walk about 10 centimeters in front of a moving shopping cart and yell "Its gonna get me!"

92. Walk through the store pushing a cart that is upside-down.

93. Walk up to the automatic doors and walk back and forth through them and each time u go though look up at the sensor and yell "how does it work or ITS MAGIC!"

94. When a woman with children walks near you in the toy aisle, throw yourself on the floor,screaming "MOMMY, I WANT THAT TOY!"

95. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

96. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

97. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

98. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.

99. Go up to a random person and begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

100. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

101. Wander around in a hospital gown and repeatedly say, "Why isn't mommie back yet?"

102. Go into the fitting room and yell loudly"I see london I see France!"

-pull out all the phones for display and as the alarm goes off yell "RED ALERT, RED ALERT DANGER, DANGER

-Take a fishing pole,get some of the worms then pretend to fish in the water fountain

-Go to the book section & everytime somebody says something yell "THIS IS A LIBARY" in their face

-(Requires a friend) take a rolled up poster & pretend to play swords with each other

-Grab some eggs & everytime you see a person come by throw them at them yelling "Look I just scrambled your eggs"

-Take milk and continually do spit takes

-Sneak up behind an employee breath heavily on their neck then say "I've been expecting you"

-(Requires a friend) Get you friend to push you up and down the aisles while both of you yell "I DON'T NEED NOOTHIN BUT A FAT-CAKE"

- Go to the work out area and teel people "Feel the burn,shed those pounds,build up a sweat, tread the mill

-Go to the old people diaper section open the package put on a pair in the right place and on your head then run around the store yelling "I'm a rugrat,Phil Lil stop eating bugs unless you give me any


	2. Chapter 2

Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Get several of those frogs (that croak when somebody walks by) from the Garden Dept. and place in strategic locations throughout store.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long," etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk, anyway?"

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a test drive.

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,"I'm Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

32. Take bets on the battle described above.

33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible." 35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I need some tampons!"

36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

37. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: "Marco Polo." 43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics, while headbanging & playing air guitar to Willie Nelson demos. (Bonus: Braid hair & tie bandanna around head).

45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.

46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

51. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

52. Turn on toys that make noise or talk at random intervals, and leave them in strategic locations.

53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

54. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

57. Set up another battlefield with GI Joes vs. Barbies. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!)

58. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

59. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

61. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.

63. Beg the greeter for those happy-face stickers. Stick them on your face, then stand next to him and copy whatever he says when customers walk in.

64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."

66. Try on every pair of shoes in the shoe department. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

68. If youre female: Take some mens clothes to the mens fitting room and ask to try them on. Act shocked and insist But I AM a man if the attendant says anything. If youre a man, vice versa.

69. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they arent looking.

70. Lurk in the cosmetics department and spray people with a bottle of strong perfume as they walk by. Lean in and sniff the, then wave your hand in front of your nose and saying "P-eeew! That perfume stinks!"

71. Plastic fake-vomit and fake-dog doo can be utilized effectively here.

72. Go outside to the payphones, call the store and ask them to page customer "Mike Hunt" (or "Harry Butz", etc.)

73. Stand in front of the Preparation H. Ask everyone who walks by which hemmorhoid remedy they prefer, then launch into a detailed description of your own problem.

74. While you're doing that, have white-out & markers handy. Modify the boxes of "Anusol" by covering up the "OL" on the logo.

75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat. Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.

76. Take a chair to Electronics, tune in all the TVs to Young & the Restless, and watch while sobbing loudly.

77. Chase your friends up and down aisles with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don't know you.

78. Ride the little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if on a horse, act like a cowboy, etc. If a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start crying.

79. One word: STREAK!

80. Excesively use anything thing that says "Try Me".

81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.

82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.

82. Walk up to the customer service and say "Hello, I'll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, large fries and a diet coke." Then go to Mc Donald's and try to return a toaster.

83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream and lice remedies are.

84. When alone, have loud conversations with your "multiple personalities".

85. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".

86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store.

87. Act suspicious and stick your arm in your jacket when leaving store. As youre walking through the doors act like youre expecting the alarms to go off. Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away as fast as your can.

88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.

89. Put jockstraps in the lingerie department.

90. Put lingerie in the men's department.

91. Put super sexy womens lingerie in old men's carts when they turn around.

92. Stand in the sock aisle, and give each package a stern lecture.

93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light and say "blink" each time it blinks. Don't look away, just stay mesmerized.

94. Put condoms in the mannequin's hands, and cigarettes in their mouths.(Safety warning: Leave cigarettes unlit.)

95. In the Garden Dept., skip through the flowers while holding your arms out and "buzzing".

96. With friends, stage a "sit-in" in all the bean-bag chairs in Furniture Dept.

97. Walk up to a guy and say "It's YOU! I haven't seen you in so long!" and kiss him, then say "Why didn't you ever call me?" and walk away. Much more effective if youre also a guy.

98. Stand next to a mannequin and pretend to be a mannequin too. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible.

99. Start singing oldies songs in the megaphone.

100. Ask everyone in "Electronics" "Do you know what CD this song is on? I don't know the name but it goes like this:". Then sing loudly, and don't stop until somebody throws you out.

101. Bark while trying on dog collars. Have a friend lead you around on a leash. Better yet, whinny while trying on horse tack and a friend holds the reins.

102. Take fishing rods & a fishing hat from Sporting Goods to the Pet Department. Pretend to fish in the goldfish tanks.

103. With friends, form a line that leads to nothing. Act like you're all excited about something. See how many people who walk by will come stand in it, too. (Note - This really works)

104. Steal a Walmart shirt, and the possibilities are * Attempt all of the above during the same visit.


End file.
